What I Should've Done
by Kames all the way
Summary: I know the past is the past, but that doesn't mean I don't relive what we had like it was yesterday. I wish I could go back in time and fix it all, treat you like a king. I guess the only thing left to say is that I hope he makes you happy because in the end that's all i ever wanted for you, happiness.


_**Authors Note: Sup peeps. This is my first one-shot/song-fic so I would really appreciate it if you went easy on me but if you really don't like it you can just give me feedback on what I can do better for next time. XD**_

_**So anyways I came up with this idea when I heard "When I Was Your Man" by Bruno Mars for like the hundredth time and really wanted to write something that had to do with the lyrics. Anyways I'll let you get to it :).**_

_**What I Should've Done~**_

* * *

_**Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now. Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same.**_

* * *

_**James' POV:**_

I wake up in my bed with a feeling of emptiness. I open my eyes to find the reason for this and I see right away. Across the room is my best friend/ex Kendall Knight. I remember waking up in his arms or vise-versa. When I was with him nothing or nobody could make me feel sad. I never felt this emptiness that im felling in this moment.

I stared at him for a few more minutes until I decided that it was enough torture for the day. In my mind I know that that isn't true because I still have a long day ahead of me with him included in some of it.

I got up and headed for the bathroom with my towel. I decided to take a long time in the shower today just to be able to stall until the point of having to leave. Of course that couldn't happen because after I was in there for an hour Kendall started knocking on my door and telling me to hurry up.

Hearing his voice made my eyes water but since I knew I had to come out I just held in the tears and washed my face.

As soon as I got out I was met with Kendall giving me a cold glare. He pushed past me and slammed the door shut as well as locking it. I knew I should've expected it since everyday after our break up taken place 2 weeks ago, he wont say two words to me.

Not only had that, but he even found himself a new boyfriend named Dak Zevon. I can tell by the way they interact and by the way Kendall looks at him that there is no love in that relationship.

I'm not trying to say that im the master of knowing people but, I definitely know that there is no love there. Knowing this made me feel like I still had hope for a second chance with him but for now I can't see that happening anytime soon.

I started to put on my clothes while turning on the radio into a random station. It wasn't till I heard me and Kendall's special song that I turned it off. I didn't turn it off right away, no first I saw that Kendall came out of the bathroom and stared at me with a look of shock, confusion, and hurt that I turned it off. It was also for the reason that I was getting teary eyed while listening to it.

When we first picked our special song, anytime I all heard it all I heard was loving lyrics but now all I hear is sadness in the lyrics. I knew that the song won't ever be heard in the same way for me.

"Why were you listening to that song" was all Kendall said and I could hear the hurt in his voice.

I was tempted to say that I was listening to it because I loved him but I knew he could see right trough me and know I was lying. So instead I just said "I was listening to the radio and it came on at the same time you exited the bathroom." even though I knew that would hurt him more.

"Oh ok, well then bye" he said as he rushed out of the room.

* * *

_**When our friends talk about you all it does is just tear me down, because my heart breaks a little when I hear your name.**_

* * *

When I walk into the living room I see that Carlos and Logan are the only people I see that are in the house. That means that Kendall must have gone out with Dak somewhere. Normally I would be heart-broken because of that but this time I had a different reason.

"Did you see how cute Kendall looked with Dak" I heard Carlos say.

"I know im glad that he found someone to be happy with" Logan was the one to say something this time.

They obviously didn't hear me come out of the room because they kept talking about Kendall and Dak. Each time I heard they say Kendall; I felt another part of my heart crack while another part completely breaks. I know that I should probably leave before I have my heart shattered into a million pieces but apparently I love being tortured because I can't seem to move a finger.

Logan and Carlos must have noticed me because pretty soon they were in front of me and telling me how sorry they were. Honestly I couldn't hear anything at that point because the next thing I knew Kendall was also in front of me trying to get me to say something or show any kind of sign that I wasn't dead. Someone must have said something because at one point I broke out of my trance. Once I did I just stared at the three of them while they continued to talk.

"Well are you going to explain why you just ignored us for five minutes" said Kendall.

I knew I couldn't tell them that it was because I was heart-broken by how many times I heard Kendall's name in the past 15 minutes. So I did the next thing that popped into my head which was run out of the apartment.

* * *

_**It all just sounds like ooooo. Oh too young too dumb to realize that I should've bought you flowers and held your hand. Should've gave you all my hours when I had the chance.**_

* * *

I went to the place where I did all my thinking. The roof. Once I got there I couldn't help but to think of all the things I did wrong to cause Kendall to break up with me.

One of them was that he was always one for the romantic type so he loved it when he got flowers or cuddled with. I of course never did any of that because I didn't think I needed to. I knew that Kendall loved those things but I never did them. I know that that is one of the reasons that Kendall left me. It pains me to know that all I had to do was buy him flowers and cuddle with him, which are normal couple things to do in the first place, in order to still have him.

I'm not sure if Dak does those things for Kendall but I can't to think that he does which is another reason I know I'll never get him back. Another thing that Kendall loved was holding hands. I for a matter of fact know that I never held hands with him in public or anywhere even though the whole palm woods knew about us.

I'm sure that he and Dak hold hands even though when he and Kendall are in the same room I tend to disappear. Its one of those things that pains me to know that I could've easily done, but ill probably never have the chance to.

One final thing that I knew I should've done was give him all my hours. Normally when we had free time I would go to the pool and flirt with girls because I found it natural. I know that that should count as one of the things he broke up with me for, but I know it isn't because Kendall also flirted with many guys. We trusted each other enough that we didn't get angry at each other or try to defend our territory. Of course if the other person started touching then there was usually a problem but other than that it was normal.

All of those things were what made me lose him. And I won't ever forgive myself for not doing them. If I had one more chance I would load his bed with roses everyday, I would never let go of his hand, and I would spend every single second of the day with him even if he would say it was annoying him. I would rather have him and annoy him than not have him at all.

* * *

_**Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance. Now my baby's dancing, but he's dancing with another man.**_

* * *

I remember all those times at parties where you danced all night. Every new song you would tell me to join you. I never did because if I got sweaty my hair would get all frizzy. You would say that you didn't care that I would still be perfect but I still wouldn't dance.

I also remember not taking you to many parties. You would always beg me to go with you but most of the time I just wanted to stay home and go to sleep. You would stay just so I wouldn't be alone and unlike any other boyfriend I tell you that it was fine and for you to go to enjoy yourself. Instead I would make you feel guilty if you went that way you would stay with me.

I knew how much you loved to dance because I would watch you when we went to a party. You would spend the whole night dancing and moving. You never sat down to have a drink or anything you just continued going like you would die if you stopped. I know that I was probably a horrible boyfriend because knowing that you loved to dance I still wouldn't take you to parties or dance with you.

If I had you as mine again I would probably throw a party every weekend just to be ably to have a reason to dance with you and watch you dance. We would keep going all night and I wouldn't care if my hair got messed up because I would know that you would still think I was looking perfect. If only I had another chance I would do everything possible to make you happy.

* * *

_**My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways, caused a good, strong man like you to walk out my life. Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made. And it haunts me every time I close my eyes.**_

* * *

Other things that caused you to never come to me again are my pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways.

Since I was too worried about my pride I didn't stop you from breaking up with me or chase after you when you were leaving our room. I thought I would weak and pathetic and that is something that I did not want to look like. At this point I couldn't care less about my pride. I would run around naked with Kendall tattooed to my chest if that's what it takes to get you back.

My ego is something that I thought you didn't mind dealing with. You always complimented me while I only complimented you sometimes. And if I wasn't complimented on certain days I would get mad at you even though it really isn't your fault, it's all mine.

Also, my needs always came before yours which was the total opposite of what a relationship should be like. If you were sick I would make you go cook for me because I was hungry even though I was the one who should've been cooking you a fiest for how amazing of a boyfriend you were.

Finally I was always selfish with you and I didn't allow anyone to touch you not even Logan and Carlos, who I knew didn't have feelings for you. I should've let you live more and I was even selfish when you would dance because I wouldn't allow anyone that was a guy dance with you so u would just end up dancing alone sometimes.

"Hey James" I heard someone say which made me jump and fall to the ground because I never expected anyone to look for me. Even worse Kendall was the one that found me, though I shouldn't be surprised because I knew that he knew I loved to come up here. At the same time I was wondering why he didn't tell any of the other guys where I was.

"Jesus Christ Kendall next time would you please not be so sneaky and just shout from the door and speaking of which why are you here" I said in a normal tone of voice.

"Well since you left like 4 hours ago the-" he started saying but I cut him off.

"Wait, what do you mean 4 hours ago" I said looking at my watch. I guess I must have been up here thinking for longer than I thought. He must have noticed the shocked look on my face because he just continued normally.

"Anyways the guys were going to look for you outside and I wanted to check if you were up here because if not then I would let them worry a lot more" he said.

"Oh ok well now that you know im up here can you leave" I said in a rather harsh tone.

"Why are you getting mad at me I just wanted to check if you were okay and what is so important anyways that you had to stay here for 4 hours to think about" he yelled at me.

"First of all I didn't know I was up here for 4 hours because I was too lost in thought and second of all none of your business." I said in the same tone of voice.

"It is my business James because you're still my best friend and im worried about what has you like this" he said in a softer tone.

"Best friend!" I said in a harsh tone. "What kind of best friend ignores them for two whole weeks" I bellowed. Afterwards I saw the hurt in his eyes as he flinched at my words.

"I know. Your right I should've kept talking to you. It wasn't fair to keep you away because of our past, but now im here and I want to know why your acting like this." He said.

"Well the reason is you. There you wanted to know and now you do." I said as I started heading towards the door. All of a sudden I got yanked back by my wrist.

"What do you mean me" he yelled.

"You as in how I missed you, how it hurts me to see you with him, how I cant have a goodnight sleep because every time I close my eyes the only thing I see is you. I know that you don't love me anymore but I hope you know that I still do and that I would do anything to get you back." I said. I know I shouldn't have said that but I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

"James I can't do it anymore, I can't take you back and I can't trust you anymore. When we were together you never had time for me and when you did all we did was talk or just make out. I'm sorry but I just can't" and with that he let go of me. I took this opportunity to rush out and go home.

After what i just heard i knew i didn't have a chance with him anymore so I did what any other artist would do and started writing a song.

* * *

_**It all just sounds like ooooo. Oh too young, too dumb to realize, that I shoulve bought you flowers and held your hand. Should've gave you all my hours when I had the chance. Take you to every party case all you wanted to do was dance. Now my baby's dancing, but he's dancing with another man.**_

* * *

Once I started writing the song there was someone entering my room. I assumed it was Kendall but was glad to see that it was just Carlos and Logan.  
"Hey guys sorry I made you guys worry I just needed some time to think" I said to them.

"Its ok but can you at least send us a text or something to let us know your ok next time" said Logan while Carlos just rushed at me and gave me a huge bear hug.

"I know im sorry about that too I was just so lost in thought that I didn't even realize I was gone for 4 hours until Kendall told me" I said hugging Carlos back and smiling at Logan.

"Alright well for now we are going to go get ready for prom so Carlos get off of James and follow me" said Logan.

"Ok" said Carlos while getting off of me and following Logan out of the room as well as closing the door.

Once they left I continued to write my song because I knew that if I was quick enough I would be able to use it at prom. In the back of my mind I know that this is a bad idea but in the front of my mind I really don't care.

As soon as I finished Kendall walked in but once he did I just went into the bathroom to start preparing my plan as well as getting ready prom because if I went along with my plan I had to look my very best.

Once I was finished I walked out fully dressed and started to head towards the door. When I opened it I was surprised at what I saw. Kendall was kissing Dak and they were both ready for prom. I honestly wasn't expecting to see them I thought that they would have left a while ago.

Even though I knew that they knew I was there, I just walked past them and started heading to prom. I was a little torn down at the moment but I knew that with my plane I was either going to have Kendall as a boyfriend or as a best friend but judging from what I saw in there, it was probably the latter.

* * *

_**Although it hurts, I'll be the first to say that I was wrong. I know im probably much too late to try and apologize for my mistakes, but I just want you to know. I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand. Gives you all his hours when he has the chance. Take you to every party cause I remember how much you love to dance. Do all the things I should've some when I was your man.**_

* * *

As soon as I got to the prom I went over to the DJ station. After talking to him for a couple of minutes he said I could sing my song after the next one passes.

The song that ended being the song before mine was painfully made me and Kendall's special song. When I heard it start to play I thought of it as a sign to not do it but as I glanced over to Kendall and saw him dancing with Dak I knew that I had to do it, no matter how much it would hurt if I get rejected.

I continued to watch them dancing until I saw that the song was starting to end so at that I rushed behind the stage and got ready to sing.

"Ladies and gentlemen the next song is an original by one of the Big Time Rush members, James Diamond" he said into the microphone.

As I looked out to the crowd I saw Logan, Carlos, and Kendall exchanging glances, probably wanting to know when i wrote a new song. As I went up to the stage and stood in front of the microphone I saw all three of them giving me a 'what the hell' sort of look, but i just ignored them and gave them a reassuring smile.

As the music started to play I tried to calm down and began to sing my new song called _"When I Was Your Man"_.

_"Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now"_ As I sang the first verse I knew that Kendall knew it was about him.

_"Our song on the radio but it doesn't sound the same"_ And if he didn't the he does now.

_"When our friends talk about you all it does is just tear me down. Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name"_ I'm pretty sure that Logan and Carlos now understood what happened in the living room because they looked at each other and gave each other a 'we are so stupid' look.

_"It all just sounds like ooooo. Oh too young too dumb to realize that I should've bought you flowers and held your hand"_ I saw Kendall with a look of hurt and something else I couldn't put my finger on, on his face. I knew that he was going to take this song to heart so I boosted up my confidence and sang in the most melodic voice I could.

_"Should've gave you all my hours when I had the chance. Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance. Now my baby's dancing, but he's dancing with another man"_ I saw the look of sympathy from everyone in audience except for Kendall who gave me a look of knowing.

_"My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways, caused a good, strong man like you to walk out of my life"_ I sang, looking directly at Kendall and ignoring the anger of Dak's face.

_"Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, no, and it haunts me every time I close my eyes"_ Kendall knew this part of the song because it was used in my speech about how I still love him.

_"It all just sounds like ooooo. Oh too young, too dumb to realize, that I should've bought you flowers and held your hand. Should've game you all my hours, when I had the chance. Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance. Now my baby's dancing but he's dancing with another man"_ I knew by the look on Kendall's face that he was remembering all the times I didn't take him to parties or how I never bought him flowers, but I knew that I had to keep going.

_"Although it hurts, ill be the first to say that I was wrong. Oh I know I'm probably much too late to try and apologize for my mistakes but I just want you to know"_ At this point I knew that a couple of tears have escaped from my eyes because everyone in the crowd is just staring at me and probably thinking about who in the hell made me go through this pain that I have right now. I could've honestly just taken the sympathy but I know I can't because like the song said its all my fault.

_"I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand. Gives you all his hours when he has the chance"_ I know that im probably telling Dak everything he needs to know to get Kendall's heart but I honestly could only focus on the way Kendall's eyes are telling me that he doesn't.

_"Take you to every party, because I remember how much you love to dance. Do all the things I should've done when I was your man. Do all the things I should've done when I was your man"_ As soon as I finished I saw that the some of the crowd was in tears including Kendall.

"That was the most romantic things in the world so whoever has his heart breaking right now, better go up there and kiss him before I do" said one of the girls from the crowd.

Honestly, I wanted to think that Kendall would actually do it, but I knew that there wasn't any hope so I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath to prepare myself to explain to my 3 best friends why I sang that song. I knew it wasn't going to be easy especially since the song was about Kendall and them all three knew it but I when the time comes I'll just tell them that we needed a slow song for the album. However it turns out I won't need to explain because after a few seconds I felt a soft pair of lips on mine. I was prepared to push them off until I felt a spark. I knew that even if it wasn't Kendall this person could help me move on.

I started to kiss back and the sparks grew bigger. Our mouths moved in perfect sink as if they were made for each other. I licked their bottom lip to ask for permission which they easily granted. I stuck my tongue in their mouth searching through every cavern and spot in their mouth. After that I connected our tongues together and took their tongue into my mouth and then I started to suck on it. As soon as I heard them moan, my mind registered who it was to and I pulled away.

My mind was right because when I opened my eyes I was met with they gorgeous green eyes that belonged to nobody but Kendall Knight. To say I was surprised was an understatement I was in a total state of paralyzation. I couldn't move or speak; I could only get lost more into his amazing green eyes.

In order to get my attention he kissed me again and this time I melted into the kiss more because I knew who this was. He didn't seem to mind taking control because he stuck his tongue in my mouth and started exploring my mouth in every way possible. After that I moaned and came back to reality and also realized that I was on a stage, making out with Kendall Knight, in front of the whole Palm Woods, so to say I was blushing didn't even begin to describe the redness of my face.

Soon everybody started clapping and to my surprise Dak was one of them. I turned back to Kendall giving him a look that said you have a lot of explaining to do.

"Apartment. Now." I said giving him a glare. To my surprise he just nodded and followed me out. The ride on the elevator wasn't totally awkward but still awkward to the point that we didn't stand next to each other.

Once we reached the apartment I opened it and pushed Kendall inside knowing that Mrs. Knight and Katie were gone for the weekend for a vacation. As soon as I locked the door I rushed him to our bedroom and once we were inside I closed the door.

"So would you mind telling me why Dak was clapping back there" James said in a serious voice.

"Okay so I might've told him about our conversation in the roof and he told me to give you a second chance. He also said that first I had to go to prom with him so in the end he knew I was still going to end up with you" Kendall said in a nervous voice, while sitting down on his bed.

"Why didn't you tell me? Do you know how much time I spent on that song and the pain I went through knowing that I might lose you forever if I sang it" James yelled at Kendall.

"I'm sorry, but if t makes you feel any better, the song made me love you that much more" Kendall said while standing up and grabbing James by the waist.

"Actually not really, but how about you show me how much more" James said in a flirtatious voice.

Kendall responded by pulling James close and connecting their lips together for a passion filled kiss.

_***The End***_

_**Hope you enjoyed it!I had so much fun writing it, even though this story is very saddening towards the beginning and middle. :P**_

_**For now please review and tell me what you think about it and if you can please go check out my other story "Too good to be true" which is also a Kames story and if you didn't tell by now then now you know that Kames is my favorite pairing but mostly dominant James. I just think that dominant Kendall is weird but I could still read it.**_

_**Anyways goodbye for now. :)**_


End file.
